Spotting Red Flags: When Someone Calls a Relative an Outsider
Treating people this way is a very common thing, not just within in-laws, but within biological families as well.
Picture this: you're getting to know someone new, and they casually mention a relative as an 'outsider' or 'outcast'. Sounds like harmless family gossip, right? Think again. In this revealing episode, Cynthia Bailey-Rug, a Christian abuse recovery expert, unpacks why this seemingly innocent remark can be a major red flag for abusive behavior. Cynthia explains that referring to a family member as an outsider often signals scapegoating, a tactic commonly used in narcissistic abuse.
This isn't just about in-laws; it can happen in biological families too. By labeling someone as the 'black sheep', the family avoids taking responsibility for their own issues and unfairly shifts the blame onto one person. It's a way to maintain the facade of a perfect family while hiding deeper dysfunctions. So how can you tell if someone is being scapegoated?
Cynthia breaks it down: a functional person will talk about their family's outsider with respect, acknowledging their individuality without anger or negativity. On the flip side, a dysfunctional person adopts an 'us vs them' mentality, painting the outsider as the root of all problems. Next time someone mentions a family outsider, pay close attention to their tone and words. Are they respectful or dismissive?
This can be a telling sign of their emotional health and whether they might be prone to abusive behavior. Cynthia's insights in this episode are invaluable for anyone looking to protect themselves from potential harm. By recognizing these warning signs early on, you can better navigate relationships and steer clear of toxic dynamics. Tune in for practical advice and eye-opening revelations that could make all the difference in your journey towards healthier connections.