Andrea Williams, LPC, CPCS
Andrea Williams, LPC, CPCS
The Four Horsemen: Ways Unhealthy Communication Ruins Relationships
The Four Horsemen: Ways Unhealthy Communication Ruins Relationships
The Four Horsemen: Ways Unhealthy Communication Ruins Relationships
Monday 2nd May 2022
Discover how to transform toxic communication in relationships with insights from Drs. John and Julie Gottman on Grace Through Recovery.
23 minutes
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Engaging
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About this podcast
Author:
Andrea Williams, LPC, CPCS
Overview:
Categories:
Family Recovery from Addiction
Navigating Challenges in Recovery
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Recovery Reimagined
Creative Recovery Journeys
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Episodes:
28 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!The Four Horsemen: Transforming Toxic Communication in Relationships
When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean. The target of contempt is made to feel despised and worthless. So the contempt goes far beyond criticism. Contempt is fueled by long simmering negative thoughts about the partner, which come to a head when the perpetrator attacks the accused from a position of relative superiority.
Ever wondered why some relationships seem to crumble under the weight of constant arguments and misunderstandings? In this episode of Grace Through Recovery, Andrea Williams breaks down the groundbreaking research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman on relationship dynamics. Known for their extensive studies, the Gottmans identified four toxic communication patterns that can doom any relationship: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling—aptly named the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Andrea explains how these negative habits can erode trust and intimacy, making it difficult for couples to connect. Criticism attacks a partner's character, while contempt takes it a step further by attacking their sense of self-worth. Defensiveness is a knee-jerk reaction to feeling blamed, and stonewalling involves emotionally shutting down. But it's not all doom and gloom. Andrea also shares practical antidotes to these destructive behaviors.
Simple acts like expressing appreciation, engaging in open and honest communication, and practicing self-soothing techniques can go a long way in mending broken bridges. By recognizing these harmful patterns and actively working to change them, you can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Whether you're struggling with a partner, friend, or even your own inner dialogue, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you foster better connections.