Paul Gilmartin
Paul Gilmartin
Episode 132: Listener Tom Seiniger
Episode 132: Listener Tom Seiniger
Episode 132: Listener Tom Seiniger
Friday 13th September 2013
Tom Seiniger discusses growing up with an emotionally incestuous mother, setting boundaries, and finding healing on 'Mental Illness Happy Hour'.
Explicit
124 minutes
Informative
Empowering
Compassionate
Hopeful
Authentic
About this podcast
Author:
Paul Gilmartin
Overview:
Categories:
Body & Mind
Sobriety Toolkit
Healing from Sexual Trauma
Healing Relationships
Financial Health in Recovery
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Get the buttons here!Tom Seiniger's Journey: Breaking Free from Emotional Incest and Finding Healing
I'm afraid I'll never get another job again, that I will die and will have not been special...Probably eight or nine, because there would be times they'd come home from going out to like a romantic dinner or something, and she would immediately lock herself into her separate bedroom that she had just moved into and wouldn't interact with him for the rest of the night.
What happens when the burden of a parent's mental health falls on a child's shoulders? In this episode of 'Mental Illness Happy Hour', Paul Gilmartin sits down with Tom Seiniger, a 22-year-old listener who opens up about his turbulent upbringing. Tom shares the heavy responsibility he felt to keep his mother out of her depressive episodes, despite her emotional unavailability and the unhealthy dynamics between them.
His candid story sheds light on the guilt, anxiety, and emotional toll that comes with feeling like you're your parent's caretaker. Tom's journey is one of rebellion and resilience. He talks about the moment he decided to break free from this toxic cycle and prioritize his own mental health. Setting boundaries wasn't easy, but it was crucial for his healing.
Tom emphasizes the importance of finding the right therapist and support group, which can be a daunting task but is essential for recovery. Connecting with others who have faced similar struggles provided him with a sense of community and understanding. The episode also touches on the shame and secrecy surrounding taboo desires and the fear of being alone or unlovable. Tom's battle with addiction and his fear of never being able to quit smoking are part of his ongoing challenges.
Yet, he finds solace in small victories, like getting the silverware drawer right on the first try or enjoying a meal on his balcony. Tom's story is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, even in the face of deep-seated emotional wounds. It's a testament to the strength found in setting boundaries, seeking help, and finding meaning in life's small moments.
As Paul Gilmartin aptly puts it, "The cheapest, most widely available anti-anxiety thing that I reach for is meaning and purpose in my life". This episode is a beacon of hope for anyone grappling with similar issues, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggles.