Healing is not so much about 'changing your thoughts, changing your life,' but more about teaching your nervous system that it can be safe with yourself, with the decisions that you truly want to make for yourself and for your life, that it can be safe with safe others, and that it doesn't have to defend you all the damn time or anymore, but only when you're in real physical danger, and eventually the healthy thoughts come, but only after your nervous system lets them.