Matthew's Journey: From Partying to Purpose

I just shut the fuck up and I did everything they told me to do because 20 years of doing my own thing. I just, you know, I would, I would do a little bit of what people say and then just do my own shit for like a little bit. And there was like 40 some of us in this, in this men's relapse program. And I was going to lose everything. I was going to lose my kids. I was going to lose my girlfriend. I was going to lose, I was going to lose everything at the time, you know? I thought I already lost my job. And I remember the counselor saying you know out of 40 of you guys like you'd be lucky if like two or three of you stay sober what the fuck so I think I was there like 40 days and they're like, we want you to go to a halfway house or sober living. If you ask anybody, I wasn't going. I lived with, I lived, I was like one of the oldest guys there. Lived in a sober house with a bunch of 20-something kids. And I think I was the only alcoholic there. It was all meth and other stuff. It was like, shit, there's still alcoholics around? I was like, yeah. It was like, shit, there's still alcoholics around? I was like, yeah. And I learned so much in this rehab. It was just a different, you know, being to so many rehabs. I've seen shitty rehabs. I've seen good rehabs. This one was good. Something just stuck. And I don't know what it is. Sometimes I sit and I think about, you know, what was was it i think i finally just said i give up i'm just gonna do what everybody tells me to do waving the white flag surrender acceptance you know 20 years of my own doing look where it's gotten me