But I don't think I was crying out of empathy for them or for myself. And so that first phone call to the parents, you know I had alienated. I had lied to them, I had abused them emotionally, I had lied to my friends, and so pretty much at that point, anyone that I would have called knew that the game was up. And so it was terror times and it was just. Jail is an awful place, yep, but death is even worse.